Alluring, yes, but heartbreak & despair await

That day, my disc golf buds and I were throwing a sort of practice round. Two drives off the tee, it gives you a chance to try out different approaches to the same hole. For whatever reason, (and, truthfully, there are probably oh, say, 420 reasons) I forgot I had thrown my SL, and it wasn’t until we had gone to play the back nine that I remembered. I retraced my steps as best I could, but I never found her.  Someone else surely did. Another player either found her before I went back, or after. I was seriously tweaked by this development.  A relative newcomer to the game, I didn’t have many discs in my bag that I had already dialed in. I actually placed a bounty.  But I never saw her again.  Then a funny thing happened.  I was complaining to my friend about it, and he remarked, “well, didn’t you find that disc to begin with?” Man, the earth shook, the angels wept.  I experienced what drunks call ”a moment of clarity.”  Yes.  I had found her. She was laying there, in the weeds, looking battered and scratched but essentially intact. There was no one else playing that course at the time, so I placed her in my bag, and finished out the game. I had almost a year with her.

I’ve thrown plenty of 16 dollar discs into the lake, or deep into wooded thickets that would make a platoon of Viet Cong change course. I’ve spent more than a few hours searching, lifting up fallen logs, scattering leaves, reaching into dark recesses that could have, at any time, brought me face to face with a pissed off pit viper or a rabid raccoon.  (Isn’t that a Beatle’s song? The rabid raccoon, checked into his room…)  Sometimes I came away with my disc, (or at least some other disc) but many times, I sighed, gave up, and went on about my day.  I emphasized gave up because that’s where I think you have to end this whole sordid business.  I’m going to pronounce this as LAW, sent down from on high by the Discs Gods themselves: “The moment you stop searching for your disc is the moment it no longer belongs to you.”

Think about that.  At some point, you just say tohellwithit and go do something else…finish the round, mow your lawn, split a pitcher of ale with your mates, whatever.

Is this you?

Once I accepted that, I stopped pining for lost discs. Someone will eventually find them, use them, and likely re-lose them.  You know what? The Earth Mother will still rotate, the tides will continue to rise and recede, the sun will shine as brightly as ever. Let go. Breathe. Focus on the discs you still have, and take comfort knowing some other disc golf player may be enjoying one that you lost. Why begrudge him or her?

This post was motivated by two separate but overlapping events. On Saturday, I was playing a local course with Rock Solid and Travis Damn Quillen.  We teed off on hole 7 or 8 and as we walked to our discs, another player approached and asked us if we had found his disc, which he described as a white Valkyrie. We informed him that we had not, but then the other player noticed Rock Solid putting a white disc into his bag.  (We all carry quite a few white discs, simply because it’s an easy color to see in any season) Rock Solid’s neck hairs bristled a bit, but he did show the guy that it wasn’t his disc.  I’m not sure what would have happened if Rock Solid had refused to show him, but I’m pretty sure any move to force him to do so would have resulted in that other golfer being air-lifted out on a gurney. It was beyond rude.

Then I heard a rumor that the PDGA will no longer sanction new courses that don’t include a “lost disc” box of some sort?  Please tell me this isn’t true.  It may be along the same lines as Obama’s “death panels”.  Anyway, I don’t have the strongest Google-fu in the world, but I couldn’t find a source for this.

That said, applying a little etiquette is always a good idea. Goofus sticks the disc in his bag and hides it. If there is a name and number on the disc, Gallant will always place the call. But, the burden of return is always on them. I’m not polluting the planet with exhaust fumes so that I may meet you somewhere. Send me a postpaid envelope, I’ll put it the nearest box. If I see you on the course, I’ll gladly hand it back to you. Absent those two scenarios, I’m pretty much out. Deal with it.

Contributed by Mack Farmer
Managing editor of Church of the Grand Hyser

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About Mr. Mack
At 6′4″, 225, I am an imposing physical presence. Thankfully, my time spent with the Dalai Lama taught me to not rely on my extreme physical prowess, the better to let my pure and enlightened soul be the thing that draws people near. And so it is. Please do not let my Mensa membership intimidate you to the point that you do not leave a comment, I accept all viewpoints here, regardless of how poorly thought-out. Lastly, please do not hold me accountable for my Adonis-like looks, especially my piercing eyes, (done up in blueprint blue) as these attributes are an accident of birth, quite possibly a virgin birth. So, welcome, dear visitor, your presence is celebrated!

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Introducing Women to Disc Golf – Disc Selection

Story Contributed by Bill Belanger

Part 2: Disc Selection

Have you ever looked through a new female player’s bag and found a bunch of old beat up drivers that her boyfriend, husband, brother, or friend couldn’t throw? It is more common than not and probably hurts her game way more than it hurts yours. But where do we even start? Hopefully you took part 1 to heart and are now getting some pretty decent distance with whatever you already had, now let’s go back and tweak those discs and get a useful bag going.

Drivers

I personally feel that a fairway driver should be the fastest disc that anybody should throw unless they are throwing over 250’ regularly. There are a lot of good discs that you can get in this range and I recommend using the base plastic or one step above (pro for Innova, x for Discraft) until you get a feel for what you want and what works for you. I would also recommend using the marketplace at Disc Golf Course Review to trade or buy used discs for even more savings.

You will note that I will recommend Innova more than any other brand. They have been great supporters of my clinics and they have probably the largest variety of discs that can be bought anywhere discs are sold. I will never tell anyone not to try other brands, there are many great discs out there by other companies, but for beginner discs I feel they have the market cornered.

The best beginner disc to me is a toss-up between a leopard and a stingray. The stingray is now called a mid-range but it used to be the ‘boss’ of its age. A stingray will be an excellent all around disc for a lower powered player (the ones where 150’ is a good throw right now). As you progress the stingray can be used for turnovers and rollers so it can stay in your bag a long time.

The leopard is a disc that can stay with you throughout your career and you will probably end up with one in your bag anyways so you might as well start now. It is a long, straight disc that can be turned over by more powerful throwers or finessed into a straight line. As you get more power then you will probably want a premium version of the disc but there are many pros that carry leopards so you will not grow out of it.

If you are a forehand thrower I highly recommend the gazelle as your starter disc. It can be thrown straight for a very long distance, it can be forehanded with moderate power without a problem, and the best part of all, it is great in the wind. The gazelle is another disc that you probably will not grow out of.

If you live in an area with a lot of wind you will understand the frustration of trying to throw well into a headwind. The banshee will perform this task with great aplomb and you can also use its heavy fade to turn corners.

Honorable mentions: Millennium Polaris LS, Innova cheetah, Gateway sabre, and the Discraft cyclone are all awesome discs for beginners.

Weight: The more power you have the better off you are with a little more weight. A lot of people will recommend that women start with 150 class discs but they are very wind sensitive and sometimes do not fly like their heavier brethren. If you are low to mid powered I would recommend 163-168g. Most people will be fine in the 169-171g range. If you are a beast you can go with max. weight but keep in mind you might get fatigued earlier.

Midrange

With a lower power player I recommend this is be used as your only disc besides a putter. You will find the midrange a little easier to grip with smaller hands. And will find that you can get it up to speed and control it better than a driver. If you want to have a simple game then carrying a good fast mid and a putter is the way to go.

We already talked about the stingray in the driver section so I will not go into any more detail about it but we can talk about some of its sister discs:

The cobra is a beaded stingray. The bead is the little round thing on the bottom lip of the disc, it helps a disc be more stable so if you have problems with stingrays going the wrong way (turning right if you are a righty) then the cobra is probably for you. This disc could easily be your only driver as it glides forever and is very straight and controllable. I carry one in my bag and it amazes me every time I use it.

The kite is a specialty disc that is similar to a stingray with a huge dome. It is probably the glidiest disc out there, hence its name. It is very vulnerable to wind so I would only recommend it in a calm environment. If you throw 150’ with a stingray you will probably hit 175’ with this disc.

If you are a forehand player then something a bit more stable is in order. A roc, Discraft wasp, Latitude 64 core or pain or Gateway warrior might be the right choice for you. These will probably not fly nearly as far as the glide monsters listed above but they will have the stability you need as a forehand thrower. Don’t buy into the need for massively overstable mids for forehand, you CAN forehand a cobra, you just have to have a smooth throw.

The Discraft buzzz, Gateway element, Latitude 64 fuse, Discraft stratus and many others are also excellent choices as well but the ones listed above will probably get you the most distance and versatility for the newcomer.

The midrange becomes very important as you start reaching out past 200’ because you will run into situations where your driver is too much and your putter is not enough. The good news is there are tons of midranges out there and with a little experimentation you will find the one that fits you best.

Weight: Mids are generally heavier than your drivers. However, if you are using your midrange as your only disc then I would recommend keeping in that lower power range of 163-168g. Mids used for approach shots should be heavier and a lot of mids can go up to 180g. You are not throwing these as far or as hard as your drivers so the fatigue factor is lessened. Weight also helps you fight wind so I would pick a weight that feels comfortable in your hand.

Putters

I am not even going to pretend to tell you what putter will work best for you. This is a highly personal decision that only you can make. I recommend going to the store that has the biggest disc selection in your area and hold every putter they have until you find the one that feels “right”.

All discs act the same for a standard putt, it is beyond the 30’ circle that you will start seeing flight differences. Just like before a forehand thrower will want a more stable putter like a rhyno or big bead aviar while the backhand folks can use a less stable disc like an aviar P&A or an XD.

My wife always recommends the XD because the shallow rim fits her well, the Vibram summit and ridge are also pretty shallow and fit smaller hands well. Again, go to a store and hold every putter that catches your fancy. I guarantee you will find one that feels right and with putting being comfortable is all that matters.

The lazy approach-

Backhand bag- Leopard, Latitude 64 fuse, xd
Forehand bag- gazelle, Latitude 64 core, rhyno

These bags will get you started right but going through the process of picking your own discs will give you a more personal connection to them and being one with your discs is key to getting them down the fairway clean.

Next up is Part 3: To Compete
Did you miss Part 1? Read it here.

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Disc Golf Insider Outs Himself as Loser

March 1, 2011

Contributed by Bert Ackley

Who’s that guy? He looks pretty cool, huh? Think again. That’s me. I’m a twenty-two year old disc golfer and self-admitting loser. After being submerged in disc golf culture for almost a year I have come to the realization that it is not bettering my life in any way. I made that putt in the photo above, but it is irrelevant.

I was introduced to disc golf by a friend of mine who appears to be a really cool guy.

Think again. This is Twitter, a disc golf senior and total loser. He taught me the rules, terminology, and proper etiquette of the game. The first time I ever played, Twitter drove me to a course in Athol, MA on gas money that he made from bottle returns. He was a real die-hard and I admired that about him. I once saw him dive into a pond to retrieve a disc in the midst of a late August thunderstorm. He emerged from the water clutching a Champion Boss (his favorite disc) in his right hand like a golden nugget plucked from a junkyard.

The combination of Twitter and myself elicited a dangerous reaction. I soon developed the same insatiable appetite for disc golf that Twitter already had. We were negative forces on each other disguised as blessings. The dishes piled up in our homes, the bills went unpaid, and friends were lost. Gradually, little inklings of truth gathered inside me like raindrops falling in a coffee cup. One day, my friend Raiarox came with Twitter and I to the Northampton course and filmed a few throws. After watching the footage of one of my near aces, it fell on me like a cloudburst. We were losers. Disc golfing is designed for losers. We had gone from two mature, seemingly cool guys to pathetic, childlike idiots.

The Excuse

Very often a disc golfer in denial will come up with excuses as to why he or she is spending so much time on the course. A common defense is “I’m not really into the whole disc golf thing. I just like walking around the woods and drinking beers.” A nice try, but not good enough. Once you start drinking beers and playing disc golf the two actions become one in the same. They don’t exist apart. When drunk, the discer craves a round of disc golf instead of the usual vices: sex and junk food. I can’t tell you how many times I have blacked out and found myself in bed the next morning with a crumpled scorecard in my pocket and a putter between my thighs.

To focus the attention on drinking as the habit only makes the individual seem more guilty. Take this table for example:

I didn’t make this table. I know the guy that did. His name is Bucket. We can assume that the focus here is on beer since the table is a collage of beer caps. If we take a closer look at the table we can see what all of Bucket’s drinking is centered around.

Disc golf. Yes folks, that is a picture of a disc golf basket and that is also a disc placement marker, one of the dorkiest disc golf accessories next to-

The Bag

A basic Jansport backpack works just fine but disc golfers like to take everything to the next level. Keep in mind that a really cool disc golf bag is an indication of a big time chump…

In the past five years there has been a spike in the number of old coolers used as disc bags. After Twitter landed himself a cooler bag (shown on Raiarox’s left) I decided that I had needed to outdo him. My cooler bag (shown on Raiarox’s right) comes with an AM/FM radio and Ipod capabilities. But please don’t be fooled. Neither the battery powered cooler bag or the conventional cooler bag will help save a disc golfer’s image. It will only make him look worse to an outsider or a disillusioned insider such as myself.

The Ghetto Basket

I do hope that you will never go this far. This picture was taken when Twitter and I were at the height of our addiction. We found the wheelchair and the base of a grill at a dump on Cape Cod and we managed to jerry-rig this basket together somehow. The weather vane on the top was a touch that Twitter put together.

Added Twitter, “I’m a disc golfer first, but I’m also an artist. Most people don’t know that about me.” It is true. The kid has some ingenuity, I will give him that.

The ghetto basket serves no real purpose but to practice putting at home. It’s not worth the time or the insults you will receive from friends. It also looks like you are wheeling around an injured disc golf basket.

The Paradox

Learning the rules of disc golf is a terrible idea. In fact, the more you know about the game the worse off you are going to be. There are hyzer and anhyzer shots. If you know what either of these mean then dear help you god, you have entered the realm.

The man on the left is Ken Climo, arguably the best disc golfer in the world. I take my visor off to anyone who knew that, but I do encourage you to forget about Ken Climo at all costs. Looking at this photo, we see a dorky looking fellow next to the 12 time world champion. Well it just so happens that this “dork” is actually a cooler guy than the great Ken Climo. This is what I call the “paradox.” It would make sense for most disc golfers to be losers, but there must be exceptions, right? Think again. The best disc golfers in the world are undeniably the biggest losers on Earth. They have the coolest bags, the most accessories, and endless amounts of disc golf knowledge. Sounds like the perfect blueprints needed to build a tool shed. This picture is almost telling enough. The man next to Climo has a rare vintage Simpsons shirt which looks pretty cool in comparison to Climo’s shirt which is completely absent. In addition, wearing no shirt at all turns out to be a really annoying gesture. Case proven.

The Chains

Knowing what I know, I can honestly say the only thing that keeps me coming back for more is the chains. There is no prettier sound than a Champion Teebird grabbing a beak full of chains on a clear day when you can see the path of its flight open up like an ancient highway. Disc golfers rocket their discs off the tee pad and then cup a hand over one ear as if listening for the response to a mating call. A common bond that we discers share is the fondness we have for the sound of chains, and that is why we press on in light of disheartening information such as what is contained in this article. We cannot be foolish, though. By nature, we are outsiders.

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2011 Memorial Disc Golf Championship – Live Broadcast has Ended

March 1, 2011

The Memorial Championship coverage has finished. Please visit the official website for the tournament to see all of the results.

Here is the event schedule. Click to enlarge/download. Read more

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